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thestupidmeddy
A nerdy idiot from Transylvania who likes video games, books and all things retro. I work with words and pixels.
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Satu Mare,Romania

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Bart the Fearless in: Brawl of Doofindle- Chapter 2

Posted by thestupidmeddy - August 29th, 2021


      Bart turned at the people approaching him, who were just all blending into clothes that were lost in colour, like withered flowers. They also smelled like them. 

      'Oh, hello gentlemen! Don't you happen to have some plum brandy to share, please?' asked Bart politely.

      The people were looking at each other perplexed as were cavemen when they saw the all mighty and only deity, Bob, when he lost his favourite blanket that he had since he was born and raised of the primordial soup. 

      After the confusion, the people were grunting and readying themselves to attack. Some had swords, some had knives, some had hard fists and most of them had hundreds of ways to offend with colourful vocabulary. Bart stood up and then his face changed from oblivious hospitality into determined anger. With slow and stealth, he put his left hand on his sword's ivory handle. The tension was so high that you can cut it. And that's what Bart did, swinging the blade with so much steadiness that you were only able to catch the glimpse of a silver trail, caressing each of the withered drinkers body. After they were cut in half, fountains of red burst, painted the beige walls and the cherry wood furniture. A sight like this, with so much crimson, hasn't been seen since Torval the Jester's last show before the Llama War, when the audience threw all the tomatoes existent in Muzakia at him, after the comedic segment on veterans being just big babies.

      Bart once finishing the fight, he searched for the barmaid. Her heavy breathing came from under the counter. 

      'Listen, you, ugly fat hag! I will spare your life if you bring me a flask of plum brandy.' 

      The barmaid was crawling fast, like a dog fetching a stick, to the room filled with supplies. Then a hand, that you wouldn't think is from a woman's gracious hand, with all the dirt and sickeningly yellow nails, was holding a leather drum with a metal cap on it heavily filled to the brim with liquid.

      'H-hee-hee-here.'

      Bart grabbed the flask and took steps towards the exit of the inn. The barmaid suddenly rose up thinking she's safe. But then, Bart returned to the counter, which made her eyes expand.

      'Oh, sorry, I forgot to pay. How much is it?

      'It's t-two g-golden g-gobbles.'

      'Here, have three. Keep the change.'

      The barmaid just stood frozen in place and unable to answer. Bart now confidently got out of the 'Hard Rod' and was heading towards the village entrance to continue his adventures. That would have been the case, if after taking a little bit of distance from the inn, the evil barmaid wouldn't have come and shouted:

       'Guards! Guards! I have been robbed and almost lost my life to an evil man. Please help me! Look there it is. That nasty hoodlum!' 

       In a hasty fashion, came from nowhere, in front of Bart, two guards wearing bowl helmets and armor on their chests and legs, slowly showing rust and scratches from the harsh weather. They were pretty short and by physical traits they seemed to be identical twins.

       'Is there any problem sirs?' asked Bart innocently.

       'We've been informed that you have caused trouble to some innocent lady.' responded the twins in unison.

       Bart was looking back at the barmaid standing in the entrance of the inn, sinisterly smiling and waving to our hero.

       'You seem to be lacking in sight. Because I can only see a cross dressing warthog.'

       'Yeah we were so in a hurry, rushing into duty, that we forgot our glasses. But from the sounds of it must have been a woman. And by the laws of the tome on ''Bob's Ramblings And Wisdom'' it is stated that women are always right.'

       'You shouldn't believe what you read. I hope you know that sirs.'

       'Yes. But it is in our duty that we should follow the rules.'

       'But it's unfair! She sent her regulars to attack me because of my name!'

       'Which is?'

       'Bart.'

       'Then, definitely, you deserve to be arrested.'

       'Why?'

       'Because everyone who wields that name is foul. Now, come with us!'     

       Bart, even in his persuasive ways, got arrested and handcuffed on the left hand and bonded with one of the twins. They were by height very short, being half as tall as Bart. So Bart had to bend himself down to walk, looking like one of the hunchbacked caretakers from Bob's temples. Where one of the tales they tell is of Almighty Only Deity Bob's childhood, when he played so much with the dinosaurs he created, that eventually in his youth got bored and destroyed them. The twin guards, with Bart coupled to one of them, went towards the left corner, farthest from the village entrance, to a blocky and grey concrete building, with grates on it's only window. The only thing that made this place distinguishable was the aged wood sign, next to the door, that had freshly painted with black: ''JAIL''.

       It's insides were as unremarkable.As you enter on the right side, there were two small slabs of dark wood , which were the guards' desks. Each of them had a stool with red cushioning. This office area was separated by a wall that had a rusty metal door that led to the only cell. It was almost dominated by shadows if it wasn't the lantern hanging at the entrance giving a little light. Inside the cell were two seats visible.

       'Look, geezer! We brought you some company to not get bored.' said the twins with happiness. 

       From the dark depths of the cell two small pairs of eyes glistened. The coupled guard broke the handcuffs bond with Bart, meanwhile the other , with it's hands free, opened the cell's door with a big key somehow hidden in his pockets. Then the guards showed incredible strength for their size, by pushing Bart in the cell. After that they closed and locked the door behind him and left saying:

       'If you will be a good boy we will bring you some nice maize porridge. If not... then hope you have a strong stomach.'

       Bart stood for some seconds dumbfounded then sat on one of the seats as comfortably as you can on a hard wood plank and there stared at shadowed figure's eyes.

       'So how's life?'

       'I told you to leave this village. Why, all the youth has to be so reckless?' said the shadow with a familiar voice.

       'Well I wanted to rest on my journey with some plum brandy.'

       Bart gave that answer quickly, but then he realized who was the person beyond the darkness.

       'Wait aren't you.....'

       From the shadows, steps slow and sure as heart beats uncovered the elder's face and cloth robe that Bart met before.

       'Why are you here? And why is the village hostile towards people named Bart?'

       'Because it's all my fault.'


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Comments

feet

A S S

@VURBANK I have some ideas

hey can I be in the story

hell yeah bro

Plot twist !!! awesome, also could you look into my book and say what you think of it ?
Here's the link for the First Chapter: https://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/1481962
and here's the link for the Second Chapter: https://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/1481967